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And so she had turned to me, Paul's best friend, to draw comfort immediately following the tragedy -- to recollect the broken pieces of her lost relationship with him. It began innocent enough with her and I looking through old pictures, or watching home movies centered around him, even going out to eat at restaurants they had frequented together. But her loneliness seemed to grow worse with every day. Soon, she was planning things to do, like going to the movies, cooking me dinner, watching television -- things unrelated to Paul. Our relationship began to feel different. She no longer treated me just as Paul's friend, but also as an equal.From the time I was twelve until now, I have been attracted to Paul's mom -- her beauty, her graceful way of doing ordinary things, her no-frills pragmatism, her womanly curves... I had masturbated to so many women during these years, but she played the "starring role" most often in my mind's pornographic imaginings.Ever since Paul had died, she. For God’s sake he was already the owner of his own successful small business at just 22! Who WOULDN’T find this guy totally doable?His boyfriend Gavin seemed to agree with me.On the up side, I wouldn’t be tempted to break my housing contract. Right?On the downside, I still couldn’t help but drool over Eric even if, though he was totally my type, I didn’t even have the right parts to be his.I groaned to myself remembering all the times Eric didn’t bother to put a shirt on before wandering into the living area. All those chiseled ridges and edges that made up his hard abdomen and defined pecs made me want to lick him all over. I had to remind myself constantly that he’s not only taken, but gay.Julia laughed bringing me back to the present. “Poor Lanie and her busted up gaydar. Remind me again how you COULDN’T tell Eric was gay? That man might as well wear a rainbow flag around. It’s so obvious he’s into men though he’s a little less… struts and glitter than Gavin.”“Shut it Julia. You.
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